Chosen by God

My wife and I were in the car on Saturday and had a great conversation about our special needs child.  We’ve both had recent conversations with people about the special situations surrounding their child, or grandchild, so it had both of us thinking about how blessed we really are.

Sure we are parents of a special needs boy, but we are so blessed.  God has been with us every step even when we often feel all alone.  Our son has his physical difficulties, but over all we have it pretty easy with him and he has a really sharp mind, so it makes it very easy for us to have conversations and discussions with him.

We have friends and know others who are not so fortunate and life is often difficult.  Some are constantly in the hospital, having surgeries, and for others maintaining a correct sugar level becomes a minute by minute chore.  It’s friends and acquaintances like this that makes me question the whole comment that people often make, “God chose you-special parents-for your special child.”

Give me a break!  This is where I’ve really struggled this weekend.  What you’re trying to tell me is, God has this shelf of embryonic souls and all of a sudden, one day, he decides to grab one off the shelf and say, “this ones special, so I’m going to give this one to Kyle & Joanna.” 

I think there are a few fatal flaws in this kind of thinking.  First, if that were true, then Heaven isn’t perfect, because this child, this soul, this spirit that gets sent to earth to become your child, in some way, has a flaw before it even arrives.  Not true!  Secondly, why would God chose a broken, chaotic, and dis-functional family to raise a special needs child, which happens all the time?  Christian people aren’t the only ones who have special needs children.  Special needs children are born to alcoholics, drug addicts, and child abusers every day.  So, once again, God chooses special people to take care of special children?  I don’t think so!

Here’s what I think.  Because of the sin and brokenness in this world, children are born with special needs, health problems, sickness, and difficulties.  God doesn’t predetermine or choose who these children go to, but he certainly does give those of us who have them the ability, strength, patience, love and grace to take care of them.  Those parents out there who may not know what love and grace is and haven’t had the privilege to experience it, may struggle more with having a special needs child, which often leads to a very high rate of divorce and brokenness, leaving one parent to bear the burden and responsibility of this special situation. 

God loves everyone equally and doesn’t have favorites.  He doesn’t choose special people to take care of special children any more then he chooses some people to be a pastor, a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.  He simply gives all of us a choice.  To live our lives with him no matter the circumstance, situation, or job we find ourselves in.  We simply need to trust him with everything.  Let him lead.  Let him bear the weight of what we are carrying.  And if we do this, life is a little easier to handle, because we aren’t the ones in control.