Chosen by God

My wife and I were in the car on Saturday and had a great conversation about our special needs child.  We’ve both had recent conversations with people about the special situations surrounding their child, or grandchild, so it had both of us thinking about how blessed we really are.

Sure we are parents of a special needs boy, but we are so blessed.  God has been with us every step even when we often feel all alone.  Our son has his physical difficulties, but over all we have it pretty easy with him and he has a really sharp mind, so it makes it very easy for us to have conversations and discussions with him.

We have friends and know others who are not so fortunate and life is often difficult.  Some are constantly in the hospital, having surgeries, and for others maintaining a correct sugar level becomes a minute by minute chore.  It’s friends and acquaintances like this that makes me question the whole comment that people often make, “God chose you-special parents-for your special child.”

Give me a break!  This is where I’ve really struggled this weekend.  What you’re trying to tell me is, God has this shelf of embryonic souls and all of a sudden, one day, he decides to grab one off the shelf and say, “this ones special, so I’m going to give this one to Kyle & Joanna.” 

I think there are a few fatal flaws in this kind of thinking.  First, if that were true, then Heaven isn’t perfect, because this child, this soul, this spirit that gets sent to earth to become your child, in some way, has a flaw before it even arrives.  Not true!  Secondly, why would God chose a broken, chaotic, and dis-functional family to raise a special needs child, which happens all the time?  Christian people aren’t the only ones who have special needs children.  Special needs children are born to alcoholics, drug addicts, and child abusers every day.  So, once again, God chooses special people to take care of special children?  I don’t think so!

Here’s what I think.  Because of the sin and brokenness in this world, children are born with special needs, health problems, sickness, and difficulties.  God doesn’t predetermine or choose who these children go to, but he certainly does give those of us who have them the ability, strength, patience, love and grace to take care of them.  Those parents out there who may not know what love and grace is and haven’t had the privilege to experience it, may struggle more with having a special needs child, which often leads to a very high rate of divorce and brokenness, leaving one parent to bear the burden and responsibility of this special situation. 

God loves everyone equally and doesn’t have favorites.  He doesn’t choose special people to take care of special children any more then he chooses some people to be a pastor, a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.  He simply gives all of us a choice.  To live our lives with him no matter the circumstance, situation, or job we find ourselves in.  We simply need to trust him with everything.  Let him lead.  Let him bear the weight of what we are carrying.  And if we do this, life is a little easier to handle, because we aren’t the ones in control.

Unclean Love

He wasn’t overly above average in attraction, but something about him was simply beautiful.  I’m not sure what made me decided to do it.  Maybe it was the oppression I continuously felt in my life.  The world just seems to close in on me sometimes.  Life feels a bit chaotic and I think I was looking for something different.  A new pattern of daily living would be really nice, but what that all meant was very unclear to me.

 

So I just did it.  I saw him walking by and decided to follow him.  Like I said, I’m not sure what compelled me to do it.  Why would I leave my work, my family, and my life to follow a man I didn’t know?  Let me have a minute of your time to explain what I experienced and why my life has been changed forever.

 

We were walking down the road and were quickly approaching an area of town where people just don’t go.  I mean, anyone in their right mind who puts any value at all on their life, just wouldn’t go there.  You’re just asking for a death sentence if you do, so why would you do it.  It’s a filthy, ugly, disgusting place, filled with a stench you just can’t stomach for very long.  You definitely don’t want to go there right after you’ve had lunch.  But, if I wanted to figure out who this guy really was and what it was that attracted me to him, I felt I had to continue in the direction we were going and it was right towards the place that represented so much death.

 

When we got to the edge of this part of the city, the majority of us stopped.  Fear consumed us and our stomachs turned from the smell that filled the air.  I pulled my shirt up over my nose, hoping the smell of my body would cover up the smell coming from the very spot this man was heading.

 

He didn’t stop and find a “comfortable” spot like we did.  He marched right on forward.  There was no fear in his eyes, only love.  The next thing I saw was so rediculous I’m still trying to figure it out.  It simply made my head spin.  This man certainly has a death wish and must want to die!  Another man was quickly approaching him from the left.  I wanted to yell “look out” but I didn’t know his name and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because I was consumed with fear, doubt, and disbelief. 

 

Before what I saw could even register in my brain it had happened.  The two men arrived at the same spot nearly simultaneously, but they both stopped in time to be facing each other.  There seemed to be a conversation taking place, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.  This guy I had been following was completely vulnerable and out in the open.  Anyone could have touched him if they wanted to.

 

The conversation continued and the man who had approached him obviously lives here.  He’s utterly disgusting.  Filthy, dirty, and I think I can smell him from my comfortable vantage point.  How could anyone stand so close and talk to him.   I wanted to yell out “run, get away.”

 

But then it happened.  The dirty man with the death sentence started to talk.  I think he might have been crying too.  His face seemed to sparkle each time the sun reflected from those streaks on his face.  It must be tears.  The guy I had been following was talking back to him.  I bet he’s telling him to get away, that he smells horribly bad, and he looks putrid.  Any moment now he’s going to turn and walk away.  Wait…somethings happening…the man who seemed to be pleading his case fell to his knees and all in one quick motion the man I had been following reached out and touched the unclean man by his arm.  He lifted him back to a standing position and they embraced.  He actually reached around the man and held him, squeezed him and laid his head on his shoulder. 

 

I couldn’t believe my eyes.  How could he do that?  How could he touch a man with leprosy?  There’s no cure for this disease.  He’s just killed himself.  He’s going to experience a miserable, horrible, disgusting death.

 

So many thoughts and emotions were running through my head.  I just couldn’t understand the logic behind this.  The rationality wasn’t there.  It was totally beyond the norm and simply radical.  It broke all the rules and preconceived notions we had and even expected.  A line was certainly crossed that day, most people are unable to or even want to cross.  After spending considerable time replaying this experience in my mind, I’ve come to the realization there’s only one explanation for why he crossed it.  LOVE!

 

It was simply love.  Love is the reason he was simply beautiful to me.  Love is the reason I choose to follow him that day.  Love is why he didn’t run from the man with leprosy, and love is why he reached out and embraced him.  Love is what I was looking for in my life.  It’s the daily pattern I needed to bring peace to my chaos.  Love is what I’m now trying to show to every person I meet and love is why I’ve chosen to step across the line.  Love is why I can’t remain comfortable any longer, and love is why I choose to go to places that are unclean, dirty, and full of people who some consider unacceptable.  Love is what Jesus showed me that day and love is what continues to draw me closer to him.  Love is what will bring restoration to this world and heal the brokenness, heartache, and sorrow.  It’s simply love!

 

Will you choose to love someone other than yourself today?