This Makes Me Sick

I was sick and tired of my closet looking the way it did, so last Friday night I started purging.  I didn’t realize the depth of my sickness until I was finished.  When I was finally done grabbing and tossing there were two huge mounds of clothes piled up on my bedroom floor.  The sight of it was utterly disgusting!

I can’t help thinking about how trapped I am in the empire of consumption.  Something most Americans are faced with every single day but rarely gives even a second thought.  We consume so much and take for granted what we actually have.  Why do we always feel the need to have more?

This kind of confession is not new for me and I’ve written on this blog before about my desire to spend, but I’m troubled by the depth of this problem in my life.  I know I’m guilty and I’m confessing my addiction to spending and consuming.  You can see it in the picture of the six 30 gallon garbage bags filled with clothing that are still perfectly good.  I’m just getting rid of them because I haven’t worn any of it for over two years and I’m tired of digging through them to find what I actually want to wear.  And I’m so pathetic, I haven’t even removed the clothing from our game room yet and I’ve already gone and purchased a new shirt for the fund raising event we had last week.  It makes me feel like such a hypocrite.  Asking people to donate money while I spend so much on worthless and useless possessions.  I’m confident I could completely fund our non-profit on my own if I didn’t carelessly consume.

It’s not a problem I face alone.  Many people spend carelessly on things we think we need, but have no idea how much of a luxury it really is.  What I’m really wondering is will the economic crises we are finding our country in, put a halt to all of our over spending or are we so addicted we’ll continue to spend, driving ourselves deeper and deeper in debt all in the name of self-gratification.

Have you ever noticed even when you have a huge closet filled with clothes you still tend to wear the same things every week?  I know I do, so why do I feel the need to continue to buy?  Is it a sickness?  Is it addiction?  Is there some deeper need that I’m trying to fill?

I wish I knew the answer and I wish I could stop!

Do you suffer or have a problem with spending?  Especially spending on things you don’t’ need?

Do you have any suggestions you’d like to share that might help those of us with this problem to be able to stop?

Screwooged

I know that people feel like times are tough in America right now, but do we really have it so bad?  Most of us enjoy a warm and comfy bed every night and we generally get three plus meals a day.  Most of us need nothing and if truth be told, our needs generally turn out to be wants and addictions for consumption.

Lately the news has been filled with doom and gloom and with reports of economic crises, a volatile stock market, new president elect, and big corporations failing left and right, you would think people would want to be a little cautious with their spending.  However, I’ve not seen a slow down this Christmas at the malls or stores I’ve been to and friends seem to be spending just as much if not more this year for gifts.

I’m probably as guilty as most.  I’ve not stopped spending and even though we’ve cut back on the number of Christmas presents we buy for family, we still tend to spoil our son.  He already has so much, why do we think he needs more?  Why do we think we need more?  Why do we always assume that we are owed or deserve something?

I ask these questions because of a recent situation we found ourselves in with friends.  We have all been working with the kids at The Samaritan Inn, a local homeless shelter, since February and wanted to plan a little Christmas outing for the kids we’ve become friends with.  We decided to organize a party for them at a local business that offers “Jump House” entertainment.  We felt it would be a great opportunity for the kids to get out and burn off a little energy at the same time. 

When we approached the business and talked to the manager about the event, who it was for, and why we were doing it.  I think we all assumed they would be as excited about it as we are.  We also expected, as a non-profit organization working with homeless kids, to get a great deal or at least a discount to help offset the cost.

What we got in return was a person who offered noting.  No discount.  No deal.  No compassion for the situation, for our organization, or the children.  And when we asked questions about the different deals they had, we had to be very careful about what we decided on, because the price seemed to change and become more expensive, not cheaper, when we tried to negotiate the best deal.

This left all of us feeling frustrated and feeling like we’ve been violated in some way.  We couldn’t understand why someone wouldn’t have compassion for children.   Why they wouldn’t help a local non-profit and why the rules couldn’t be bent this one time in order for some needy children to have a great Christmas party.

The more I’ve thought about it the more I’ve come to realize my feelings are a result of individualism and entitlement.  Feeling like I’m owed something or entitled to more than what someone else may be entitiled to,  just because we are trying to do good.  I’m not sure it’s supposed to work this way.  We could easily continue to argue it would have been the right thing for this business to do, but how do I know they aren’t struggling this Christmas due to the economic strains on the small businesses in America?  How do I know they aren’t just wanting what so many of us already have?

I certainly have been financially blessed this year and 2009 is already looking really good for my company and my family.  I know I can afford to pay for all the kids at The Samaritan Inn to have a great Christmas party, so today I’m sucking it up and confessing my weakness in the area of entitlement and will do my best, on Sunday when I walk into this business, to put on a smile and make the workers there feel like we are appreciative of the opportunity to use their facility, because  I think that’s the right thing to do!