No Resolutions!

I’ve been in a little writing funk lately, so forgive me if this turns out to be putrid dribble, but I still feel the need and desire to write.  My fear is it will just be garbage ink on electronic paper.  I don’t want my journal to become boring, tireless crap, but feel it’s important to spew forth the feelings and thoughts within my feeble little mind, in an attempt to keep it from exploding.

The thoughts that have been in my head for over a week now are about resolutions, goals, and my big plans for 2009.  I’m not much on making resolutions, because I always fail.  Last year I set goals in hopes that I might actually achieve them, but since they were only goals it didn’t really matter if I met all of them, I was working towards a mark and only hopped to hit it.  And like I said last week, I can still use these same goals for this year, because they still apply.

Now I’m faced with a stubbornness that will not allow me to make resolutions, I’m using the same goals from last year, and I’m thinking “where does that leave me?”  Bored, tired of thinking about it, and still pressured to have some sort of “plan.”  It’s a new year for heaven’s sake and I need to get on board with it.

Idea!  Maybe I’ll just share with you my manifesto.  It’s something I wrote two years ago and has been in my drafts folder for over a year now.  Maybe it’s finally time to share it.  I just read it and it certainly still applies to my life and works for me.  It will continue to be my public declaration, a goal, and plan I attempt to live my life by.  Most of this came to me after reading the book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson.  Here it is!

1.  I am a “Lion Chaser” in training! — A lion chaser is someone who stops running away and starts grabbing life by the tail.

• How do I grab life by the tail?  Take some risks.  Stop worrying that I might fail.  Recreate what isn’t working.  Be creative.

2.  I will be an agent of change!

• How do you become an agent of change?  Unlearn your fears.  Become vulnerable.  Be honest with yourself, with God, and each other.  Understand that you can’t do anything, but God can do EVERYTHING through you.

3.  I will go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention!

• Becoming uncomfortable to the point that I relinquish control to God and say “I’ll go where you want me to go, I’ll do what you want me to do” scares the crap out of me and is something I really struggle with.

…Why?  Fear of failure, the unknown, vulnerability, time, family, things I may have to give up.  Caring more about what my peers think, instead of what God thinks.

4.  I will stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution!

• I am a recovering cynic.  My natural direction is downward.  I get depressed easily, it’s become natural for me to complain, and I have no problem finding faults with other people.
• When I only point out problems, who do I hurt?  Everyone!

…I must stop repeating the past and start creating the future.  I want to criticize by creating and I want to take action and stop sitting around and waiting for someone else.

5.  I will stop letting what’s wrong with me keep me from worshipping what’s right with God.  (2 Samuel.)

• When I don’t have the guts to step out in faith and chase lions, God is robbed of the glory that rightfully belongs to Him.

…What is this chase I’m referring to?  Going outside my comfort zone to serve and love the oppressed, marginalized, and outcast in society.  The people we would have found Jesus hanging out with.

I’m happy to say since writing this manifesto two years ago, my life has changed dramatically.  I’m not struggling with number four nearly as bad as I was last year or years prior to getting the help I needed.  I’m positive and optimistic about what God has planned for my life and especially in 2009.  Like I keep telling friends and co-workers, “Sky’s the limit” for what could happen in my life this year and I’m looking forward to it.

Special thanks to Mark Batterson for writing In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day and for this book being just as relevant today as it was when I read it two years ago.

Oh Christmas Eve

It’s Christmas eve and I’m sitting in my game room waiting for my U-verse to reset since I just upgraded to receive their HD package.  I’m excited!  They gave me an awesome deal and even with the upgrade my bill will be dropping.  Yes!  Christmas comes early for the second time this year.

I was reminded this morning, as I took my son to purchase a gift for his mother, how excited children get for opening up presents.  I’m either getting really old or it’s just not as exciting for me anymore.  Maybe my perspective has changed from gifts to friends, because as I shopped this morning all I could really think about were friends.  Friends from high school, college, and current friends who are really important to me, like the ones who sit on my board of directors for Retread.  I value and appreciate them so much.

This year has been incredibly challenging and I’ve had to overcome some major personal struggles.  I’m still working on some, but I’m confident I wouldn’t be where I’m at today, if it weren’t for friends.  It has really been a defining year and it’s helped me realize how important my friends truly are.  I’ve learned I can’t live my life alone and the importance of community, friendship, and being surrounded by people who I love is vital to my ability to exist. 

I’m confident this Christmas eve will continue to be filled with memories and thoughts of friends and those memories and thoughts are such a wonderful gift to me this Christmas.  I’m excited about the new year and what it holds and look forward to developing new friendships, redefining old ones, and spending more time with the friends who are currently in my life.

I hope today, you’ll spend some time thinking about your friends and consider the true gift they are in your life.  Merry Christmas!!!