The Untold Story…continued

 

The whole reason for the untold story yesterday in the parable of the sower was because of a conversation I had with a co-worker.  During our conversation I was being cynical and pessimistic and complaining about people who go to church, listen to the word, and then do nothing.  I complained about how the church is producing these types of people left and right, but not producing people who are going out and producing a harvest beyond their wildest dreams.  Of course he is very optimistic and shared with me, that even the seed eaten by the birds eventually could be deposited onto the good soil.  Hummm!  Hope?  Grace?  Redemption?  Second chances?  Never give up on people?  These were all thoughts that have continued to flow through my mind over the past two days as I’ve been convicted about my negative attitude.

If you watched the little video clip above, from the movie The Bucket List, you got to see one of my favorite parts in the movie.  It’s funny and raw, but I think it’s a wonderful story, the story about the Kopi Luwak coffee bean.  If you’ve seen the movie you’ll remember how Morgan Freeman’s character shares this story with Jack Nicholson’s character by having him read it out loud.  Of course, Nicholson’s character is not too pleased to find out his favorite and extremely expensive coffee is the bi-product of a tree cat.  It’s the combination of the bean and the gastric juices of the tree cat that gives the coffee its unique flavor and aroma.

Even if you are the most committed coffee drinker you have to be asking yourself, how can tree cat crap make coffee taste that good?  Not sure I’d want to find out.  But, it does paint a beautiful picture of how something that sounds disgusting can become something loved and desired by others.

For me, the untold story is full of hope and redemption.  The bird may represent the evil one, but even the evil one does not have power over the redeeming grace of God.  The seed passing through the digestive system represents the Hell so many of us allow ourselves to be in by not listening to God’s word, but hope lies is in the fact that the digestive system (Hell) doesn’t have to be the end.  Soon we may find ourselves deposited onto good soil where God can use us to produce a crop beyond our wildest dreams.  God is redeeming and restoring everything so we should never give up and never lose hope.

 

Flipped Switch

It’s an amazing and revealing feeling when the switch finally gets flipped and you realize why you’ve struggled to feel, to write, and to even sense a love for others.  I’ve had trouble thinking of what I can write about and how to even put into words the way I’ve been feeling.  A little empty would probably describe it the best, but I’ve not had any reason to feel that way.  Life is good and God is blessing me more right now than he has at any other time in my life.  But something has certainly been missing and I’ve been praying and asking God to just speak to me. 

Yesterday, while listening to an interview pod-cast with Jamie Tworkowski, founder of TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms) I believe God pointed out what my problem is.  I’M COMFORTABLE!  I could sense it in Jamie’s voice and in his sincere answers.  He’s such a genuine and honest guy and he continually finds himself surrounded by hurting, depressed, and broken people.  His organization is doing an unbelievably good job at raising awareness and pointing out how so many people deal with addictions, depression, and severe disorders that leave them feeling lost and alone.

I’m feeling comfortable because when I look around at the people in my life I don’t see very many who are oppressed.  For the most part, the people in my circle are doing pretty well.  Sure there are problems and issues that we’ve dealt with, but compared to the man living on the street in Dallas, I’d say we’re all doing pretty well.

I’m finally to a point where I have to stop and ask “am I getting my hands dirty?”  What am I doing that is really helping people who are oppressed escape from their oppression and find the life that God wants us to all freely live?  What am I doing that puts myself right in the middle of the battlefield where I might be able to help someone?

I think part of the reason I feel so comfortable is from a lack of challenge in my life.  Most of that is my fault, because I’ve failed to read, seek out, and listen for those opportunities.  I’ve not been pushing myself to find the areas that need the most help and I find myself settling for the status quo.

Understand, I’m not being unreasonably hard on myself.  I am doing some really good things and helping children who are impoverished, but I do feel I have to stop and ask, how much I’m really making a difference.  It’s easy to send the money, the shoes, or the food, but when we’re required to really get our hands dirty, it’s often a different story.

Where I go from here and what my next step should be is the hard question, but as I prayed this morning I felt an overwhelming sense that God was saying “meet your neighbors, ask them what you can pray about for them, and maybe you’ll find oppression you didn’t know was there!”  Maybe if I will listen, trust in God, and do what I feel he’s asking me to do, my life won’t feel so complacent.

Leaving Egypt

I tend to write a lot in my journal about the things I wrestle or struggle with the most.  Depression, addictions, complaining, criticism, and much more are at the top of the list.  I’m definitely a work in progress and struggle with the best of these.  I also like to think I spend much of my time working through and processing the things I just mentioned.  I don’t mind change in my life, so I read, study, and talk about these things with friends.  I don’t have a desire to stay where I’m at and self-improvement is a necessity in my life.  I’m not saying I’m the best at doing it, but I do have the desire.

This week marks the beginning of the Lenten season and there’s no better time to think about our “Egypt’s.”  We all struggle with something, but the beauty is we don’t have to.  I know… easier said than done.  How many times have we heard that growing up in the church?  We can be like Christ!  We don’t have to stay where we’re at!  We can choose to be different.  We don’t have to remain a slave to our problems, our struggles, or our addictions.

Then why is it so dang difficult?  Do we continue to wrestle with these issues because we haven’t completely surrendered ourselves to God?  Is it that we aren’t really “saved”?  Or is it just a process of refinement that we continue to go through with God, recognizing our complete need and dependence of him?

Even the Israelite people continued to struggle after they were led from Egypt by Moses.  They saw pillars of dust and fire, bodies of water split in two, and manna fall from heaven, but continued to struggle with complaining, arguing, and worshiping false gods.  They lacked faith in their creator and couldn’t trust in his ability to lead them to a promised land.  They even wanted to return to the pot of meat they ate from during their time of captivity and abuse.

So I ask the question, why should we consider it so much easier for ourselves to flee from our Egypt’s and not feel the desire to return to them?  And why is it so hard for us to grasp the reality when we continue to fall prey and victim to our addictions and then find ourselves bruised, beaten, and hurting from our momentary lapse in judgment?  Why is it so easy to judge and condemn those who continually struggle with these problems?  Are we just trying to make ourselves feel better?

It really is true.  We don’t have to remain in bondage to our addictions.  We can be set free through the grace and love of God.  But, THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO, to remove ourselves from the trash we find ourselves in.  We have to trust and rely on the only person who can ultimately free us from our garbage and it’s God.  And don’t fool yourself into believing that you will miraculously be perfect and never screw up again.  You will make mistakes and maybe even fall back into the very addictions you once found yourself in.  That’s the beautiful thing about grace.  It’s always there, always available, and always ready to lift us up out of our pit.

This week I’m being challenged to wrestle with the Egypt’s in my life.  As Ash Wednesday arrives and I find myself entering the 40 day period of time leading up to Easter, I will decide to give up something I enjoy, in an attempt to draw closer to God.  I want to allow Him an opportunity to work an amazing rescue effort in my life and ultimately save me from the slavery and bondage I so often find myself in.  I pray this will be an incredible time of growth and discovery, because Resurrection Sunday is coming and I want to be ready for the celebration.

This Makes Me Sick

I was sick and tired of my closet looking the way it did, so last Friday night I started purging.  I didn’t realize the depth of my sickness until I was finished.  When I was finally done grabbing and tossing there were two huge mounds of clothes piled up on my bedroom floor.  The sight of it was utterly disgusting!

I can’t help thinking about how trapped I am in the empire of consumption.  Something most Americans are faced with every single day but rarely gives even a second thought.  We consume so much and take for granted what we actually have.  Why do we always feel the need to have more?

This kind of confession is not new for me and I’ve written on this blog before about my desire to spend, but I’m troubled by the depth of this problem in my life.  I know I’m guilty and I’m confessing my addiction to spending and consuming.  You can see it in the picture of the six 30 gallon garbage bags filled with clothing that are still perfectly good.  I’m just getting rid of them because I haven’t worn any of it for over two years and I’m tired of digging through them to find what I actually want to wear.  And I’m so pathetic, I haven’t even removed the clothing from our game room yet and I’ve already gone and purchased a new shirt for the fund raising event we had last week.  It makes me feel like such a hypocrite.  Asking people to donate money while I spend so much on worthless and useless possessions.  I’m confident I could completely fund our non-profit on my own if I didn’t carelessly consume.

It’s not a problem I face alone.  Many people spend carelessly on things we think we need, but have no idea how much of a luxury it really is.  What I’m really wondering is will the economic crises we are finding our country in, put a halt to all of our over spending or are we so addicted we’ll continue to spend, driving ourselves deeper and deeper in debt all in the name of self-gratification.

Have you ever noticed even when you have a huge closet filled with clothes you still tend to wear the same things every week?  I know I do, so why do I feel the need to continue to buy?  Is it a sickness?  Is it addiction?  Is there some deeper need that I’m trying to fill?

I wish I knew the answer and I wish I could stop!

Do you suffer or have a problem with spending?  Especially spending on things you don’t’ need?

Do you have any suggestions you’d like to share that might help those of us with this problem to be able to stop?