No Resolutions!

I’ve been in a little writing funk lately, so forgive me if this turns out to be putrid dribble, but I still feel the need and desire to write.  My fear is it will just be garbage ink on electronic paper.  I don’t want my journal to become boring, tireless crap, but feel it’s important to spew forth the feelings and thoughts within my feeble little mind, in an attempt to keep it from exploding.

The thoughts that have been in my head for over a week now are about resolutions, goals, and my big plans for 2009.  I’m not much on making resolutions, because I always fail.  Last year I set goals in hopes that I might actually achieve them, but since they were only goals it didn’t really matter if I met all of them, I was working towards a mark and only hopped to hit it.  And like I said last week, I can still use these same goals for this year, because they still apply.

Now I’m faced with a stubbornness that will not allow me to make resolutions, I’m using the same goals from last year, and I’m thinking “where does that leave me?”  Bored, tired of thinking about it, and still pressured to have some sort of “plan.”  It’s a new year for heaven’s sake and I need to get on board with it.

Idea!  Maybe I’ll just share with you my manifesto.  It’s something I wrote two years ago and has been in my drafts folder for over a year now.  Maybe it’s finally time to share it.  I just read it and it certainly still applies to my life and works for me.  It will continue to be my public declaration, a goal, and plan I attempt to live my life by.  Most of this came to me after reading the book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson.  Here it is!

1.  I am a “Lion Chaser” in training! — A lion chaser is someone who stops running away and starts grabbing life by the tail.

• How do I grab life by the tail?  Take some risks.  Stop worrying that I might fail.  Recreate what isn’t working.  Be creative.

2.  I will be an agent of change!

• How do you become an agent of change?  Unlearn your fears.  Become vulnerable.  Be honest with yourself, with God, and each other.  Understand that you can’t do anything, but God can do EVERYTHING through you.

3.  I will go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention!

• Becoming uncomfortable to the point that I relinquish control to God and say “I’ll go where you want me to go, I’ll do what you want me to do” scares the crap out of me and is something I really struggle with.

…Why?  Fear of failure, the unknown, vulnerability, time, family, things I may have to give up.  Caring more about what my peers think, instead of what God thinks.

4.  I will stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution!

• I am a recovering cynic.  My natural direction is downward.  I get depressed easily, it’s become natural for me to complain, and I have no problem finding faults with other people.
• When I only point out problems, who do I hurt?  Everyone!

…I must stop repeating the past and start creating the future.  I want to criticize by creating and I want to take action and stop sitting around and waiting for someone else.

5.  I will stop letting what’s wrong with me keep me from worshipping what’s right with God.  (2 Samuel.)

• When I don’t have the guts to step out in faith and chase lions, God is robbed of the glory that rightfully belongs to Him.

…What is this chase I’m referring to?  Going outside my comfort zone to serve and love the oppressed, marginalized, and outcast in society.  The people we would have found Jesus hanging out with.

I’m happy to say since writing this manifesto two years ago, my life has changed dramatically.  I’m not struggling with number four nearly as bad as I was last year or years prior to getting the help I needed.  I’m positive and optimistic about what God has planned for my life and especially in 2009.  Like I keep telling friends and co-workers, “Sky’s the limit” for what could happen in my life this year and I’m looking forward to it.

Special thanks to Mark Batterson for writing In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day and for this book being just as relevant today as it was when I read it two years ago.

Sin Boldly

I was thinking while driving into work today how good it was going to feel acutally being in the office.  Most of you who follow my journal know I’ve been traveling extensively since August.  Looking at my calendars when I arrived at my desk, I realized I was only in the office for one day the whole month of November.  I feel a bit like a new employee today!

While traveling, I’ve tried my best to keep reading.  It has been hard, because I haven’t had much free time and exhaustion normally wins out when it comes to just undwinding verses focusing on a book I’m reading.  However, from time to time I’ve been able to read some of a book I received from my friends at Zondervan.  The book is Sin Boldly – A Field Guide for Grace, by Cathleen Falsani.

In one of the early chapters I read a portion that jumped off the page at me.  I was frustrated at the time of reading this, because my busy schedule had kept me from doing some of the things I feel called to do-like helping the kids at our elementary schools in Dallas.  I hadn’t been able to do my best at running our non-profit and it was starting to wear on me.  Cathleen talked in this particular passage how as a teenager she’d always tried to do everything just perfect while she was in Sunday morning worship or at youth group, but as she has matured both spiritually and physically, she has discovered that it’s “thoroughly wrongheaded and simply impossible.”  She goes on to write:

“There is no right way.  There is no best.  There is no perfect.  It’s not a competition.  Not when it comes to faith.  Not when we’re talking about our relationship with the divine.  In the end, it’s about grace; it’s about something you don’t do.  It just is.”

Lately I’ve really needed to be reminded, “it just is.”  There’s nothing that I can ever do to change how much God loves me.  He’ll never ask more of me then he does from you and now matter how hard I try to be perfect, or do my best, it’s only by his grace that I’m able to anything.

Life can be a struggle at times and when we’re busy and overwhelmed by all we have going on, it can be even more frustrating.  So, if you’re like me and need the constant reminder that “it just is” be comforted by these closing thoughts by Cathleen Falsani:

“It’s not a race, so stop to smell the flowers along the way, bask in the warmth of the sun, enjoy the silence, allow the peace to embrace you.  And rest a while at the center before making your way back out into the world.”  (This thought was in reference to an experience she had while walking through a labyrinth, but seemed appropriate for my thoughts today too!)

Strengths Finder 2.0

A couple of weeks ago, in preparation for the strategic planning meeting my company invited me to be a part of, I had to take an online Strengths Finder quiz.  I’ve taken plenty of Spiritual Gift tests, but I think this is the first time I’ve taken a test specifically designed to discover what my strengths in leadership are.

 

I was actually blown away by the results.  I didn’t have any idea an online test asking 177 pair of questions could end up providing me with five words that would so accurately describe my strengths.

 

My five words:

• Connectedness
• Belief
• Intellection
• Deliberative
• Relator

 

Now let me briefly explain what each of these five strengths mean.  (These are straight from the book Strengths Finder 2.0, by Tom Rath.)

 

Connectedness:  Things happen for a reason.  You are sure of it.  You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected.

 

Belief:  You have certain core values that are enduring.  Your belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics-both in yourself and others.

 

Intellection:  You like to think.  You like mental activity.  You like exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions.

 

Deliberative:  You are careful.  You are vigilant.  You are a private person.  You know that the world is an unpredictable place.

 

Relator:  Describes your attitude toward your relationships.  In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know.  You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people—in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends—but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends.

 

I took this test two weeks ago today and read about each of my five strengths as I flew home that night from Baton Rouge.  I was actually very moved within my soul as I read each chapter.  It felt like a morning worship service at church and I knew I was having a special moment with God.

 

The real question I’ve struggled with is why?  Why would something like this “move” me?  Why God would choose to use a book about strengths to actually have a moment with one of his children is simply amazing to me.

 

I’m sure my number one strength being Connectedness has a little to do with the moment I had with God, that night on the plane.  I do think things happen for a reason, in fact I’m sure of it, and I know in my soul it’s because we ARE all connected.  God has designed us to be connected with each other and that’s why I love people and life and talking with old friends, seeing family, and having coffee with a buddy.  These are simple things, but because of our connectedness it is something far beyond a casual encounter.  It’s deeper and more enduring and has far reaching eternal value.

 

Learning how to recognize these moments is a challenge and I believe there are daily opportunities like this that we often miss.  So, we must learn to embrace every opportunity as if it’s a gift or special encounter with God, then trust that he will use these times to shape us into the kind of people who are actively involved in restoring his kingdom.

TO8ETHER | Catalyst 08

Had a great time at Catalyst this year.  It ended up being a time for me to pause and reflect.  I’m especially grateful for the times of worship, which I expected, and for the speakers who spoke directly to me.  The theme this year was “together” and there was a resounding cry from the speakers that we can do more together then we can apart.

Here are a few thoughts about my greatest take aways. (Paraphrased)

Day 1.

• Thursday morning, Andy Stanley | Stop sacraficing your family on the altar of ministry.
• Thursday morning, William Paul Young | ”We all have shacks with junk in them.”  I realized I have some junk in my shack and I’m planning to take steps to remove it.  More to come on this topic!

By the way, via an inside source who was in the Green room at the same time as William Paul Young, I hear he’s one of the best guy’s you’ll ever meet and he’s so personable.  He doesn’t shake hands, instead, you get a hug.  Like family!

• Thursday morning, Jim Collins | The church needs to figure out how to get the “keys of leadership” in the hands of the 20 something crowd as soon as possible.
• Thursday Afternoon, Steven Furtick | Keep going even when you don’t think there’s anything there to keep going for. 
• Thursday Afternoon, Seth Godin | Received a free copy of Tribes, his new book.  I can’t wait to read it, but after thinking about his talk, I’ve learned that my followers on Twitter are a Tribe.  Some of you just have a crowd.   I’ll share more about Tribes as I begin reading the book.
•  Thursday Afternoon, Craig Groeschel | There’s more in you!  We need to pray that God will do these three things in our lives.  Ruin Me – God Break my heart!  Heal Me - God heal me from my addictions.  (We need to get open and transparent.)  Stretch Me – God stretch me beyond any place I’ve ever been.

Day 2.

•  Friday Morning, Tim Sanders | “If not you then who?  If not now then when?”
• Friday Afternoon, Matt Chandler | Guard your life and doctrine closely, because by doing these things, you’ll work out your salvation, and others will come to know Him.
• Friday Afternoon, Andy Stanley |  Andy Stanley closed out the conference sharing five of his favorite quotes that hang on the wall of his office.  Here they are:

1. “To reach people no one else is reaching, we must do things no one else is doing.” – Craig Groeschel
2. “The Next Generation product almost never comes from the previous generation.” – Focus, Al Reis
3. “What do I believe is impossible to do in my field…but if it could be done would fundamentally change my business?” – Future Edge/The Paradigm Book, Joel Barker
4. “If we got kicked out and the board brought in a new CEO, what would he do?  Why shouldn’t we walk out the door, come back in, and do it ourselves?”
5. “When your memories exceed your dreams, the end is near.” – Michael Hammer

I’ll be spending this week processing all that I heard at Catalyst 08.  The learning process has just started and will be a continual process over the next few days.  There are areas within my heart that need the above ideas, thoughts, and principals applied and I pray that God will continue to be “in me” as I am “in Him” throughout the coming days and weeks.  Grace and peace to you today!